EveryDay stuff

I often wonder why…..

At the moment I’m regularly having those moments of I don’t want to do this……my motivation at work hasn’t quite hit zero, but it’s slowly making it’s way there.  I am so looking forward to time off in a couple of weeks.  The Easter break will make it better for the moment though.  I have motivation for things away from work….just not work itself, I’m turning up doing my work…..hating that the day is dragging because I don’t want to be there.

When I first took this particular job, I was escaping a really stressful job, the work itself was easy, so easy (I’d covered the work in previous jobs in the organisation), it was the people I was working with. The boss in my previous job was a nice enough person away from work, but to work for she was a nightmare (no one understands how she got the job in the first place, but that’s a different story).  I always knew I would hate working for her, but due to a restructure in my organisation, I really had no choice, I could’ve cried when they said she had the job….one of my colleagues actually did cry!  Anyways….the boss, she loved the men in the office, just not us ladies….she employed a little darling, who as a junior to me was ok to start with, I got on fine with him, as I did the other guy I worked with. Gradually as time went on my colleague who cried, escaped to a better job, a better boss, more responsibility, but less stressful. I applied for another post in the next office, and stupidly let my boss and the other guy, my immediate manager, know. Things then just seemed to go from bad to worse. The other guy, started giving the little darling all the work, and more responsibility, my relationship with both deteriorated rapidly. I had started looking for other jobs, and by now, my misery started seeping into my private life (how the bf put up with it I will never know, as I became very clingy and paranoid).  However, the final nail in the coffin for my job, was that my colleague who had escaped job was advertised – the next level up from me, so obviously I applied.  I was duly given a date for an interview, which due to me being away was moved, because of this I was unaware of who the other candidates for the job were.  I discovered on my return from holiday that the little darling had applied and been interviewed – he never said.  I didn’t get the job, the little darling did – I wouldn’t have minded, but….a) the reasons I’d been given were that I didn’t have much experience dealing with stakeholders.  I’d been with the organisation for 25 years at this point, and in those 25 years I’d dealt with all sorts of stakeholders at all levels, just not so much in the current role. And b) the little darling had only 2 years experience, and although he had some degree, he didn’t have the qualifications required for the role.  Anyways, I got the last laugh….as the little darling was drowning (and still is) with not knowing what he was doing, I was headhunted by someone else in the organisation, for my current role….effectively dropping the boss, the other guy and little darling in it!  For some reason they no longer talk to me and struggle to acknowledge me!  I find it quite sad that other colleagues, still come to me for help with documents worked on in that post, because they do not get much support from those left in that team,

My current job, has had it’s own stresses, it was initially for 18 months, and a new contract for the organisation has just been awarded.  My current boss, unfortunately got pulled into the planning of the new contract a month or so after I started, luckily I’ve had a lot of support from colleagues and the contractor to get the work done. The lack of motivation stems from not knowing if I had a job going into this contract, as it turns out I have, but that still may change when the new contract comes into effect.

My bf and family are my motivation away from work, they make it all worth while, and everything better.




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